Rejection is common in all aspects of life, but when looking for work it can be a real challenge to overcome. It is a personal sentiment but one that can steer you in two very different directions. And whether you take either direction they can change the course on how you approach all your aspirations and achievements. You can let the embarrassment that comes with getting a ‘no’, or you are ‘unsuccessful’ let you dread the rest of any challenge, can make it a lot harder for you to be positive about the outcome because deep down you might be afraid that every step you are going to take will always be the same outcome. But it doesn’t have to be that way, not all the time. You see it is normal, very normal to be overcome with the sadness and frustration that comes from an outcome you weren’t expecting. We get it, and there is nothing you should feel embarrassed about, as cheesy as it may sound, no matter how much personality or time we invest or the lack thereof will never guarantee some opportunities if it really is meant for you.
You are allowed to be upset
I didn’t say that being rejected wasn’t going to come with its own set of challenges, in fact, expect it and when the outcome isn’t what you expected you have the right to feel all the frustration or sadness. Just don’t let it consume you, or tarnish any image you had in your head of what you can achieve. Don’t be limited by your current perception of what you experience is the only perspective you understand. Looking for work opportunities is multi-faceted, and the process is individual to each company let alone each candidate. There is no one formula to get the job, the position or interview it is an array of factors some of which you simply don’t have control over. There is only so much of what you think you’ve done that has affected the outcome. This isn’t the point in which you should give up entirely, that seems to be the easy way out. These moments are crucial for you to reflect on what you can do because there is always something you can do.
Rejection isn’t personal
You’ve dedicated many hours to a tailored portfolio, cv and cover letter. It is yours entirely, this part of the process. You will invest time if you want to do things right, quality over quantity which then becomes quality and quantity over time but the reality is that it doesn’t immediately guarantee anything, ever. So it can for sure feel personal when you don’t progress in a job application, or don’t get a response. You did and you should continue to do your part in being the best candidate you can be that should go without saying. Applying for jobs really is a mix of a lot of different systems that you won’t know much about until you’ve either talked to others who are working within recruitment or have gone through the process many times for yourself.
Don’t let any outcome dictate your self worth
Failure is a funny word when you see just how we choose to define it. It is an accumulation of the mistakes you’ve made. Once you decide that it is something to fear you lose your ability to see it as anything but a disease that you don’t want to catch. But it shouldn’t be that way, especially when you face challenges that you must overcome for yourself. So rejection is not a failure of some sort, and it most definitely doesn’t define your self-worth. If you have lessons to learn, rejection will teach you them if you let it. It is all too easy to see it as the opposite of success, but it isn’t and therefore isn’t anywhere on the spectrum of defining you. You can’t be angry at each door that you walk past on your way home, even if each door you come by looks similar to what you are familiar with. You will constantly be learning all the time, and rejection is just one of those processes, you can’t assume all responsibility for but at the same time, you can’t let it be the reason you don’t do anything that excites you anymore either.
You need rejection more than it needs you
If you spend your time wondering why me you really are going to make this whole learning process harder for yourself. You are guaranteed to make mistakes, the same way any other human being is going to make mistakes. What you need to learn you will do so if you decide that like any opportunity rejection is an opportunity to get better at the whole finding work process. It may take you a month, 6 months, 12 months and so on and that is the reality that comes with looking for work especially in an industry that is competitive. Reflection is key, and you are just sharpening your tools to become a better individual overall, this is more so about you than it is about the companies you apply to. Read that again. You need to take responsibility for what you can do because you really are limited by what you think you are capable of doing. This isn’t easy whatsoever, in fact, it is uncomfortable. You might have to call 100 companies for follow-ups, you might need to improve the current portfolio and cv that you do have, you need to give yourself many attempts and try to learn and become better at this procedure. Not everyone graduates knowing how to find work, and not all universities will equip every candidate in a way that creates less friction for them when looking for work. That is the reality that you do have control over, at this moment in time. You need to be rejected a thousand times before you find the job that is right for you. And if you settle, that is entirely your choice and it isn’t as simple to take as a yes or no checkbox no one will see you any differently, and neither should you. You aren’t less of a candidate, and some opportunities are really meant for you or they are not to simply put it. And you’ll never know what they are if you haven’t experienced it for yourself. Settling isn’t giving up, it is taking the steering wheel into your own hands and deciding for right now as you would for your future self. If you’ve never worked there is nothing wrong with experience, no one has ever turned away for having experience.
This isn’t to say don’t apply for the dream jobs, do so but don’t assume the worst of yourself throughout the process. You may be rejected or you may get to experience the process in a way that shapes you for another opportunity that may well be right for you. Rejection isn’t failing, it is learning that sometimes you aren’t ready just yet, but you will be eventually.