Failure - to fail, the word every student dreads to hear attached to their name during their studies. It doesn’t seem so bad when you are doing subjects that you don’t enjoy that are compulsory. It is a different story when you fail a module at university on a course that you picked.
Time and time again the stigma surrounding failure is still prevalent in academia but more so when you are on a design course. The weight of failure can leave you with a large weight of embarrassment and leave you with so much self-doubt. The mistake architecture students make is that they can attach themselves too much to their work, so when you fail - whatever that is meant to mean, it is a blow to you, on a sometimes deeply personal level. It almost seems like heartbreak but with a lot more to lose when it is tagged with a student fee to go with it.
Self-worth should not be based on a result or outcome
It is difficult not to see it that way, after all, you probably have spent a lot of time and in many cases years over getting onto the course. In many ways, you had to wrestle with the question of ‘Am I good enough?’ many, many times along the way and during your time at university. Although, that feeling will always come back to haunt you even when you have graduated. But failing a module, a design module when you are studying architecture can crush you to the core. At least that is what it was like for me. It was a nightmare that left me embarrassed to ask for help. The error here is when you decide to base your self-worth on results - that is a problem I reckon you are all somewhat familiar with because naturally, that is what we are inclined to think when you’ve spent a lot of time with this mindset. Not everyone is like this, but for some confidence isn’t something we have automatically, it is a muscle that has to constantly be worked in order to reap its rewards in the manner which best suits you. It is hard enough to drag yourself through the summer back on campus for another month when everyone is enjoying their free time on other things. You have to overcome that internal negativity because it will hinder you more than it will help you.
Failure is part of the learning process
How much of a deal you make out of it really is a test of your character. You are a designer, and failure is just part of the process. It is an opportunity to learn, and if you have failed often you’ll know just how eye-opening and useful this part of the learning is. You have to see what you gain from this opportunity, we aren’t all going to learn the same thing because we are all seeking different things. If there was one thing you’ll definitely get out of moments like this is that you have a chance to continue practising those skills you weren’t as well at. It is meant to teach you something about yourself, so don’t assume that your a fail in any part of the process of your studies is an indication of your self-worth. I once heard that you need to fail often and fast in order to reap the benefits. It is something you’ll only see in retrospect but it is a very valuable aspect of becoming a designer and to continue to grow.
You failed but you are not a failure
The sooner you realise that failure or failing at something is an action and not a personality trait the easier it will be to overcome. Every moment of failure is defined based on two ways that you can see it. It is either the moment in which you acknowledge that you have to dedicate more time to understanding this process or put a full stop to it as it is not giving you an outcome whether positive or negative that you can work from. You should never base this on the idea that it will bring you joy initially all through to the end. But you should find fulfilment in the journey to seeking the skills you need for this particular process.
Fail at the small things, the beginnings and the new
How large or small you deem something as failing is entirely yours to choose. If it doesn’t bring you closer to something that you enjoy than it is worth questioning. But if it is something you have never done before that is new, this is the only part that you are guaranteed to encounter, you can’t be the best at everything you do or the best at something you don’t yet understand properly. But the more mistakes you make and the more you decide to see them as lessons the better you will understand this it is the driver of your journey to becoming the best architect or designer out there. We see failing as different dependent on where we are in our lives and where we are physical. Failure doesn’t look like anything per se but the attachment that you give to it can make it harder for you to improve yourself. What you have to trust is that judgment and embarrassment will get you further away from being a better learner. You shouldn’t have to put added pressure on yourself to succeed when you still haven’t figured out what that means to you.
So yes it is a great feeling to have an outcome that reflects your efforts but just know that it isn’t the only thing that matters. You need to fail in order to find yourself, no one is perfect and no progression is linear. You need to learn, and sometimes failing is one of the ways in which you make the mistakes you need to make because they will help you see the world differently. You’ll realise that this applies to all aspects of life. You are your harshest critic, but be sure that you take from it what you need to hear.
It can be uncomfortable, it doesn’t get any easier but it is a confidence builder to know that you can overcome a challenge when you realise that everything is a lesson that will propel you to a better understanding that you wouldn’t experience otherwise. Just like buildings solutions have different facades but you can’t see them all from the same point.